glimmer

Well, I am back from my business trip of doom. There goes two days of my life that I will never get back. And the people I work for don't really care. Fuckers.

There was one ray of sunshine on my trip, however.

My boss stood me up for dinner so he could go "work out" at the hotel gym. Which was fine with me since I didn't want to have dinner with that boring fuck anyway. But, as usual, he made me feel like a fat piece of shit since I had no intention of taking advantage of the hotel gym and pool like he was. No, I was in my room, lounging in front of the TV in nothing but my Calvin Klein underwear, getting fatter by the minute. Nice imagery, huh?

Anyway, I was watching HBO. I don't normally watch HBO, since I'm too much of a tightwad to pay for it. I mean, jesus fucking christ, my cable bill is already 45 fucking dollars a month! And that's just for "basic" fucking cable! Am I the only person who thinks that seems like a lot of money to pay to sit on the couch and get stupid? Shouldn't they be paying us for the privilege to brainwash us with their makeover shows and commercials for purple ketchup? But I digress...

So, here I am, watching one of their comedy specials, and the latest comedian is Lewis Black. I've seen Lewis Black before and I always thought he was a funny guy. But this time I was practically shitting in my boxer-briefs laughing at the boob tube. The weird thing about this is that I NEVER laugh out loud at the TV. Especially not when I'm alone. I'm just not that demonstrative a person, and honestly, 99.9% of the drivel on TV just isn't that funny. But watching Mr. Black the other night, I couldn't contain myself.

Mr. Black really reminded me of myself. He is bitter. He is opinionated. He is angry. He is cranky. He is a crotchety fucker. He uses fuck, fucking or fucker every other word. Just like yours truly, except he is funny.

I think part of the reason he hit home with me that night was that it was the first time I've seen him since I started this blog. The whole time I kept thinking how his comedy is written in the same profanity, anger and sarcasm wrapped voice as my blog posts, and how I wish I could be as entertaining as he was. Damn! Well, at least something to work towards, huh?

I recently exclaimed that Jon Stewart was the funniest man alive, but after the other night, I think I may have to rethink that...