scumbag

A couple of weeks ago, Belinda sent me a link to an item on Ebay she liked. She liked the price even more. It was a necklace from Tiffany's. She has a thing for jewelry, especially fancy stuff from Tiffany's.

The text of the auction included this, er, gem:

Don’t be fooled with fake auctions, and people who copy the Tiffany & Co picture from the Tiffany website, my pictures are taken by me, of the actual item you get, not stolen from the manufactures website to make it look better.

I think to myself, hmm, that'll make a nice gift for Belinda on our anniversary. She wants it. She likes it. I will buy it for her and I will be a hero! Everybody wins. So I bid and I win it. Whoo hoo!

Oh shit, I forgot to check one thing; does the seller take Paypal? Fuck, no. Well I won the auction, and we all know what Ebay says:

Your bid is a contract - Place a bid only if you're serious about buying the item. If you are the winning bidder, you will enter into a legally binding contract to purchase the item from the seller. You should contact the seller to resolve any questions before bidding.

And we all know that the punishment for not following through on an Ebay auction is: negative feedback. Oh no, not negative feedback! Anything but negative feedback! Whip me, flog me, burn me at the stake, but whatever you do, don't give me negative feedback!

So being the stupid schmuck that I am, I sent the seller a check for $107. I never felt quite right about it, but I did it anyway. Then, I didn't hear jack shit from him. I waited a week, justifying to myself, "Oh, you know how the USPS can be..." After a week, I sent him an email asking, "Hey, did you get the check yet?" And another, "Hey, did you ship the item yet?" Nothing. Nada. Niente. Nichts. Zip.

This morning I sent him this email:

I STILL have not heard from you about whether you have gotten the check or not. If I do not hear from you by lunchtime today, I have to assume you have scammed me and I AM GOING TO STOP PAYMENT ON THE CHECK.

Sorry it has come to this.
Grumpy

While I'm waiting for a harried response (and apology) from the seller, I go back on Ebay and check to see if he has any negative feedback. "this is a FAKE .the buyer didn't answer.i want to moneyback." I know the grammar is horrible, but hey, I didn't write it. And this "Tiffany store says FAKE!! Item from Taiwan! Seller said $ back - no refund given" Great. Oh, then I look at the top of my screen and next to the seller's name is this, "No longer a registered user" I am obviously dealing with a person who is both a criminal mastermind and a scumbag.

So after I got back from lunch, I stopped payment on the check. No harm done.

But the real winner in this whole deal is my bank; they get $25. Fuckers.