fat

According to the National Institute of Health's BMI calculator I am obese.

Funny, I don't feel obese. Both my apartment and my job are on the 3rd floor and neither have an elevator. I make it up the stairs with only the slightest quickening of breath. I walk everywhere. Believe me, I do not think of myself as fit and trim. Not by a long shot. I love burritos and pasta way too much to ever be fit and trim. But obese?

Up until now, I haven't considered myself obese. I would consider myself obese if I could say, "That's me!" to any of the items below:

• Obese people can't have their shoes tied because their ankles are too big. I tie my shoes just fine.
• Obese people don't (can't) leave their homes to work or buy food, their loved ones having to help them survive. I do all my own shopping (Belinda helps) and I take my fat ass to work every day.
• Obese people can't go see the doctor unless a crane comes and takes them out through the window. I have never gone out of any building via the window.
• Obese people live off of cheesy poofs, chocolate doughnuts, fried chicken and Pepsi. I haven't eaten a single cheesy poof in like 11 years.
• Obese people make appearances on Dr. Phil, where Dr. Phil tells them that if they just purchased and read his book, they wouldn't be so damned fat. I have never been on Dr. Phil. Not once.
• Obese people are buried in piano boxes when they die. I'm pretty sure I will fit in a normal size coffin when the time comes. But then again, I haven't gone for a fitting.

Yet there it is, my BMI in the "obese" range. The NIH says its so, so it must be. How did this happen? According to their numbers, if I would have to be 6'4" tall to be simply overweight, not obese. I'd have to grow another 7 inches to 6'11" to be "Normal weight". I look at my life (pretty normal) and I look at their numbers (pretty fat) and they don't quite jive to me.

Well, regardless, Belinda and I have started Weight Watchers this week, just in case they are right.