nipples

I am not a metrosexual, I am not a snappy dresser, I am no fashionista. But there is one rule all men should follow. Listen up boys:

When you wear a white button down shirt, wear a t-shirt underneath. Seriously.

The ladies (and me) do not want to see your nipples. This should be obvious to you all, but for some reason, I see it all the time. The latest was yesterday. I was in a meeting and I look over at my boss who's writing something on the white board and I could see his chest hair through his shirt. I wasn't looking for it, but there it was, that unmistakable dull greyishness across his chest, like a chest hair Indiglo. I really could have gotten along just swimmingly in life without having seen this. The thing is, he's 40 years old. I would think by now he'd have figured this out by now. But no.

Oh, I hear all you guys out there saying, "Hey, wait a minute! It's summer, we shouldn't have to wear two shirts! It's hot out!" OK, I hear you. Listen up fuckers, it's fucking called air conditioning. Use it and wear the fucking t-shirt.

Have you ever overheard this conversation between two women:

"Whoa, did you see that guy?!"
"Which one?"
"That one over there, you can see his nipples right through his shirt, wow! Nice!"

No, you have never heard this conversation. Do you know why? That's right. Because it's never fucking happened.

Seriously, catching a glimpse of your nipples through your shirt just isn't sexy. Unless you have nipples like Lindsay Lohan.

But then, you have bigger fish to fry.