voyeur

Dear Naked Girl in the Window Across the Street,

I just wanted to write you a letter to let you know I see you. We all see you. Our buildings are less than 100 feet apart after all.

It's not like I go out of my way to see you naked. I swear to god I am not a pervert, really. It just seems that every time I look out my window to take in the excellent view of the city that is probably the only thing that makes my tiny 3rd floor apartment livable, there you are in your window taking off your clothes.

I remember a year ago, before you moved in, there was a sign on your building. Your apartment was vacant and the asking rent was almost two times my rent. So I know that you make a decent living to be able to afford a place like that. I also know that you must have a decent job based on the clothes I see you stripping off and tossing on the floor ever chance you get. I know that at the very least, you can afford to go to Kmart to buy yourself some curtains or maybe some of those nice mini-blinds. Perhaps you've been meaning to do this and it's slipped your mind for the last 8 months, or perhaps you're a hopeless procrastinator.

Either way, you should know we can all see you. I've wondered over the months why I keep seeing you naked over and over again. I thought to myself, maybe she's an exhibitionist. Maybe. Or maybe you are a free spirit and just don't care who may or may not be seeing your naughty bits. Maybe you think we're all myopic over here on our side of the street and all we see is a flesh colored blur in your windows. Perhaps you have a very labor-intensive job and you are too tired when you come home from work to put the blinds down.

Whatever the reason, whatever your motivation, there you are, undressing, naked, bending at the waist to search in the lowest drawer in your chest of drawers without any drawers.

And before you think to yourself Naked Girl in the Window Across the Street (for the sake of brevity, may I just call you NGitWAtS?) that I should just keep my mouth shut and enjoy the show, but truth be told, I am not enjoying it very much at all.

Sure every guy loves the idea of catching a disrobing woman, nay, dreams of being able to watch a woman taking it all off in her window. But as you and everyone else knows there is good naked and there is bad naked. You are definitely guilty of bad naked. Oh, you seem to have a fine shapely figure and all, and you seem not to be old or saggy or overweight, at least from 200 paces through filthy-100-year-old glass.

But seeing you there, undressing in the window, or dropping your towel after a shower is just so, um, utilitarian. And quite honestly, I've seen you naked so many times now, that there is no thrill in it anymore, no excitement, nothing to the imagination. After all, imagination is what really separates us from the animals, isn't it?

In conclusion NGitWAtS, thanks for the show, but now it's time for your curtain call.

Grumpy